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News >It was announced this week that Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown will Perform a concert together at the Aladin casino in Las Vegas. Tickets are now selling at $150, $200 if they actually come. The concert is sponsered by Snapple and Cocaine. [October 11, 2000]
>This just in, New York city police are reportedly apprehending the person who let the dogs out! [October 11, 2000]
>In terrible news, Dick Cheny was struck Angina disease yesterday morning and is afraid not to be able to fufill his duty as Vice President for about a month, at an angry attempt, Bush said, "Boys don't have Angina's!" [May 8th, 2000]
>The five national television company's has announced this week that they are not going to announce when they are going to be viewing replays. So join SNL next week with the reunion of Gilda Radner and musical guest Beastie Boys. [November 12, 1998]
>Miss United States told her thoughts about the Clinton scandel and saying it was wrong and not right. Thank You Miss United States, we'll really be looking for your ideas at the next boat show! [January 21, 1997]
>Today marks the day of Daylights savings. President Clinton ask the citizens of America to set there clock back 10 months. [January 21, 1997]
>Heraldo Revera is planning a trip to Afganistan to give frequent updates on our terrorist attacks. The only question in hand now is should we be sad if Heraldo is killed? [December 8th, 2001]
>This week, a eurin test is needed from all the white political figures. Ronald Reagan failed the test due to the fact that he missed the cup by 3 inches. [April 9th, 1987]
>Math Question: What do you get when you cross Joey Buttafuco with a college education?{our 42nd president} [March 5th,1999]
>This week, Bruce Willis's band the steel rockers will be performing in atlanta. Tickets will go on sale anyway... [January 12th, 2002]
>This just in: Generalissimo Franciso Fanco is still dead [October 17th, 1975]
>Unicef fell under attack this week when Syria formally protested the charity's Christmas card, which says, in ten different languages: "Let's kill the Arabs and take their oil" [October 17th, 1975]
>This week hospitals put out a new Altzhiemers Scratch & Sniff test. It works if an elder scratchs but forgets to sniff, they have Altzhiemers. [November 13, 2001]
>The Today show ratings had dropped a little this week mainly focusing on Al Rocer's new segment, Naked Weather. [December 1st, 2001]
>Calista Flockhart said that the end of the show leaves her time to try something risky, like a bagel [April 20th, 2002]
>Leonard Nimoy pulled out of a fundraiser for the Jewish Federation of Greater Seattle this month, when he learned organizers wanted to censor some of his photos of naked women. Finally! Someone willing to stand up to the Jewish Federation of Greater Seattle! Your reign of tyranny is over, Jewish Federation of Greater Seattle! [ stands on newsdesk ] Thanks to Leonard Nimoy, Seattle and its surrounding suburbs will now walk free! From Kirkland to Bremerton! From the streets of Silverdale to the majestic highland of Richmond, the people of the great northwest will never again feel the oppressive thumb of the Jewish Federation of Greater Seattle! Residents of Yakima and Maple Valley, arise and be free! The Jewish Federation of Greater Seattle is your oppressors no more! [ walks straight into the audience ] [October 12th, 2002]
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